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Sep. 18th, 2005 04:50 pm Late entry...

My oh my, I haven't written a post here sine the end of February - and it's now mid September! How time does fly. But after reading through Gus's journal this morning and someone asking why I don't post anymore, I thought that I might as well rectify that problem! Thank you for the motivation!

Well, as anyone who reads Gus's posts would know, life here has been hectic to say the least, but not by any means unenjoyable. While Gus is off doing his thing, I too have become increasingly busy and an active participant of that little thing called "LIFE". Uni is going well, though I can't believe I have just 4 weeks left of the original degree! It's been quite a lenghty and arduous thing to complete, but it's definately nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to use an old cliche. But it's not quite over yet. There are still plenty of assignments left to do for this semester, and even bigger than that, is my desperation to transfer up to Sydney Uni to do Honours. I'm in the middle of trying to apply/organise that, but with me being the undecisive person that I am, have no idea of what topic to actually do it on, and hence haven't applied yet. If all else fails, I have received a letter from Wollongong Uni "inviting" me to do Honours there. But with the cost of petrol continuing to skyrocket, Wollongong is fast becoming an unviable place to go to. Plus, of course, Sydney has far greater resources than Wollongong could ever dream of possessing. Honestly, walking in to UOW's library feels like sticking your head into an empty shoebox! But hopefully it will all be resolved soon, with a topic in my head and permission to become one of those crazy Sydney Uni boys!

Apart from that, work is keeping me busy too. For the past 6 months or so now, I left Nosh and hospitality behind and have moved back to the world of aged care. It was the very first job I ever had, and by far the most enjoyable, so I went back in March and haven't regretted it since. Plus it's nice to lose the "casual" tag and be given the entitlements that come with a permanent position. I love the job, it's easy money, and I definately meet some wonderful and interesting people.

I have to just note the virility of illnesses that went around this winter! I don't think they have been so bad for quite a long time! I got struck down with it a few weeks ago, a whooping cough-like illness that developed into bronchitis and then acute pneumonia. Not fun. Needless to say after spending close to a month confined to the walls of the apartment, often just the bed, I was busting my guts to get back outside to see the sun, the sky and other people!!

What else to say. Gus mentioned briefly in his post about my parents coming to dinner, last Saturday. This was one of those awkward dinners with the folks that you spend days running around cleaning every inch of the place, hiding all those naughty magazines and then desperatley awaiting to get stuck into the wine upon their arrival. There has been a fair bit of tension in my family in the past few months, so I organised the dinner as a means of a peace offering, and also the opportunity to let them see our home, which they hadn't seen before despite the fact that we have been here since February!

Basically there is a big family rift because of that trusty old thing, my "lifestyle choices". Haven't we all heard that line before!! The strange thing though is that it's my sister who has the most trouble with it. admittedly my parents aren't keen on the idea either, but she has taken particular exception. So much so that she has refused to speak to me or even acknowledge my existence since about June last year. She just pretends I'm not even there. This, as you can imagine, creates a particularly uncomfortable living environment. But it all came to a head this July when she got engaged. Not the brightest idea she's ever had, considering she's only known the boy a year, they have never lived together and the whole relationship seems more a weekend fuck-fest at best. Plus the girl is only 20 and just starting her uni degree this year. But any, I digress. The problem wasn't so much the fact they got engaged. It was more about the fact that noone had the decency to tell me, I found out by reading an invitation for Mum and Dad to the engagement party stuck on the fridge. Plus the fact my entire family was going to be there, but I wasn't. For a small, (generally) close-knit family, the idea that I wasn't going to be there, with everyone wondering why I was such an arsole to not turn up, wasn't particularly appealing to me. So I decided to go back to my parents' place, and have the four of us sit down and work this stupid nonsense out. WELL! All that was really worked out was what a bastard and an embarrassment I am, a public disgrace, morally-corrupted, drug fucked slutty queen who it's an effort for them to see or speak to. I've always loved my family, they can be a bit difficult, but overall we have always been fairly close. So obviously this blatant attack from all sides was more than I could stand. I left. And I didn't speak to them properly again for another 6 weeks or so. My sister, while I have never liked the word, I hate and refuse to have anything to do with ever again. For all the tension and bitterness held between us, I still to this day do not know WHY she has a problem with the fact I'm gay. Even if it is something so stupid as she thinks I'm out to take her boyfriend, sorry, fiance away from her (PUH-LEASE! the guy looks like a gorilla: tall, hugely built (mixture of fat and muscle methinks), hairy and butt ugly!), even if that was the case, I would just like her to say that and stop me trying to guess what it is. But as for my parents, they are my parents, and things have to be patched up with them. Hence the dinner, as well as my extremely reluctant visit for Father's Day.

But the dinner actually went off quite well, not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. They were civil, Gus was nervous but proved himself a true gentleman, and all was well. I think things are improving and will continue to prove, it's just going to be interesting with my sister, and when she will (finally) mature enough to accept that my business is not her business, and that for everyone's sake she needs to build a bridge and get over it! (Oh, and interstingly there are bets being taken by the rest of the family as to how long it will be before the whole engagement thing gets called off. Early next year looks to be the odds-on favourite).

Speaking of family, I seem to be rapdily being included into the Stewart clan. Gus's family now has no qualms about us being together, with all the invites we get as a couple to various events and family functions. It's nice. I even met one of his Aunt's over the weekend, she seemed quite nice in that "North-Shore-snob-kind-of-way". But heaven help the day Australia legalises same-sex marriage! While we are undeniably the married couple in every way, it would be nice to some day have that piece of paper that makes it legally official!

For those who haven't seen it, our appartment is looking wonderful. While it's a slow and pianful process of trying to turn Gus from messy-extraordinaire into neat-freak, there are slow improvements being made. We've often enjoyed getting nick-nacks for the place, dressing it up and such. At the moment we are contemplating, yes scary I know, moving to the lower North Shore when the lease runs out on this place. It would be more practical for Gus getting to work, and especially so if I do get in to Sydney Uni. A nice little townhouse with a backyard large enough to comfortably accomodate the BBQ, my ever increasing array of plants and the puppy that I hope to get at some stage. I know, I'm clucky, but actual human children are just a bit of a stretch at the moment, so a puppy it is. Especially with Gus going full time in the new year and me doing honours largely at home, I will be needing some company so I don't get driven mad with the sound of my own voice, although anyone who knows me may say that is a tad too late.

Not really sure if anyone else here goes to Wollongong Uni, but we went to their Annual Uni Centre Dinner, which was an absolute blast! The theme was Moulin Rouge, so for gays and straights alike, there was a great pervefest with can-can dancers and some gorgeous guys done up in tails and top hats!. The guest speaker was Wil Anderson, who was hilarious, and turned out to be a really nice guy when we sat chatting with him for half an hour outside after the speeches. One noteworthy comment he made was in relation to the amazing professionalism of Amanda Vanstone, our "delightful" (said with gritted teeth) Immigration Minister, in talking of refugees from Slovenia, instead saying they were from "Sluvakia". He pointed out that if she continued to create new countries at a whim, we will soon wind up with refugee camps full of "illegal immigrants from McDonaldstan and Kebabistan"! He also made mention of the infamous Brendan Nelson and the VSU debate, quoting Nelson as saying that "students shouldn't have to pay for something they don't use". In that case, we should stop paying taxes and hence Nelson's own salary, since most students neither want nor use anything that comes out of the man's mouth. Ok, maybe it doesn't sound that funny with me reiterating it, but it was funny at the time. Guess you had to be there and have had 2 glasses (read: bottles) of wine like everyone else!

I think I should leave this now. It was supposed to be a brief post to show the world I still exist, and has turned into another one of my long-winded rants.

Hope everyone is keeping well!

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Feb. 24th, 2005 07:04 pm

OK, Live Journal. It's about time I wrote another post, I think the last one was a month or so ago. And what a busy month it has been. I always seem to use that word, BUSY, but it is just so true of me. If I'm not busy then I make myself busy worrying about not being busy enough! hehe

Well first and foremost, I need to mention my big move. As most people know, I am now a city dweller, living with none other than that boyfriend of mine! I have to say that despite the HUGE amount of trepidation both of us, but moreso me I feel, felt about the whole idea, in practice, at least so far, has been ideal. We are getting along famously, and feel closer to each other than probably any other point in our relationship. It really has turned out, in its early stages, to be the best decision I ever made, no matter how reluctantly it was made!!! We haven't as yet finished all our unpacking, we're probably only 1/2 way. But the big things and the important stuff is mostly out of boxes and somewhat set up, though knowing me the apartment will likely undergo many radical transformations in the next few months until i am completely satisfied. Gus is the engineer, and likes doing all the geeky/construction/handyman stuff, and while I like to take the time and carefully and elaborately set myself up so that it's one less chore out of the way. This is one area that Gus and I differ greatly....I can't stand living in an abominable mess, while he can't seem to function without it. I wanted the place set up before I went back to uni, but that was Monday, and it's now Thursday. Then again, it doesn't help when I keep thinking of things that we may want or need and keep carting new boxes of stuff back here from shops or my folk's place.

My fam weren't too impressed about my decision to move. Mum was a bit concerned about me, mainly to do with my health, but reassured me that it was my decision and that if it all fucked up AGAIN that they would still be there to help. Dad was a lot less understanding, as is usual for him. He still won't accept things for what they are and people for who they are. It's not so much to do with sex and sexuality, I think it's just a basic parental fear of their children leaving the nest, especially with a bad track record on living away from home and with a body that simply refuses to keep up with the mind of it's owner. But I guess he has been put in his place, and the best thing to make him come round is time, showing that Gus and I and this entire situation is both a productive and enjoyable one. Which it is, I am the happiest now that I've been in a very long time!

What has been playing on my mind, and Gus's aswell, is our finances and job situation. Since I proved ineligible for youth allowance, we were relying on me getting 3 or 4 shifts a week from Nosh. Sadly that just hasn't eventuated. Especially February, it's been pretty darn quiet, and we've been lucky to keep up 1 or 2 shifts a week. So I've had to start looking at other jobs, and after only a few days, have already been offered a job interview for Tuesday. I think it sounds promising, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If it comes off, I will be returning to my employment roots, as it will be. My very first job was in the aged care industry, doing community care work with the elderly and frail. To most people, especially of our generation, it seems boring, disgusting or the like. To me, it was divine. It hardly felt like work!!! I would come home, yes somewhat tired, but full of enthusiasm about the day I had, the people I cared for and the happenings of the job. I am one of those people who feel that elderly people are magnificent, wise and still have much to contribute to our society, provided we give them the chance to. The stories that I would hear, the things they would say and do and the feeling of genuinely doing something positive and worthy in the world was such an uplifting feeling. And it must be said that a demented person is almost like an adult retreating back to the world of a child, with both saddening and hilarious moments. But I enjoyed every minute of it, and at the same time made decent money out of it too! Now while hospitality and retail have their perks (thinking........ still thinking.... ok well there have to be some bloody perks!), I haven't found the same enjoyment as I did back then. So this job, provided I get it, will hopefully fill the void in my professional life that I have felt for seemingly ever. Plus on the financial side, a stable, part-time job with guaranteed hours is just what I need for the rest of the year while I finish uni.

Speaking of uni, it did go back this week. I have to say that I have a mixed bag of reactions. I was pretty accurate with the workload....HEAPS! I've heard all the horrible things that people say about Arts Degrees, but I dare them to actually try one, especially studying another language! I guarantee that even for a fairly well-educated linguist who has taken time away from using their skills, walking into a lecture theatre at 9am to find that the entire 2 hour lecture was being given in French was exceptionally daunting!!! Not to mention the fact that for our examinations throughout the semester, we need achieve a minimum score of 90%! I guess I will just have to do a hell of a lot of revision and practice. But even so I am still greatly looking forward to this semester. I think it has lots of potential, pretty darn enjoyable and the lecturers at least seem nice and knowledgeable in their fields. I hope to work on improving the results from last semester, even though they were well above what anyone, including myself, had predicted. My film subject, as part of my other major in communications, even includes a group debate! I haven't done debating since Year 8 or something ridiculously long ago!

The only thing that continues to cause me grief is my health. I am so fed up with the happenings of my body!!! Last week I fell ill again, and come Friday I was curled up on the lounge in excruciating pain, tears streaming down my face with Gus sitting worriedly beside me. I did pick up after that though, and was tentatively back at work on Sunday. Then came something completely out of the blue on Monday night.... I had an asthma attack. I nearly collapsed on the floor with my face heating up and blackness setting in. First my kidneys give way leaving me with 45% of the kidney function of someone my age; then an aggressive and complex form of arthritis attacks my lower body (well, that's my diagnosis after extensive medical research, the quacks don't want to pin it on anything for fear of lawsuits against possible misdiagnosis, so in their opinion no diagnosis is best! Not happy Jan!) and now my lungs give way again. I haven't had an attack of any form a number of years, so why the sudden and violent resurgence is yet another mystery.

Despite all the good things, my health troubles weigh down on me quite considerably. When I go out to parties or out clubbing etc, more often than not I can stay out only an hour or two before feeling completely exhausted....I'm sure this has rubbed many people up the wrong way, simply because they assume I'm just an obnoxious shit. But more than that, I worry about Gus. It can't be easy for him at all, everything he has to put up with. What with my complaining/yelping/limping around the place; having to cancel or leave social things early; having our intimate life disrupted quite regularly; sometimes even being completely bed-ridden, and all associated with an increasingly foul mood as the pain increases. I know it's hard on him, and I love and admire him for everything he does for me, both to do with this and with everything, but my biggest concern is that I won't get better and that it all gets too much for him and he leaves.

Oh, that sounds so pessimistic and horrible. I'm not consumed with worry, but it is something that niggles away in the back of my mind. I am completely happy with everything else life is offering me so far this year, and I look forward to what else may come. And I am looking after myself as best I can... if doctors can't/won't help, then there will be other ways of treating the problems. Those who know me well have realised that I have turned my back on my partying/heavy drinking days....the boy who used to down double vodkas like shots is gone, and the boy who gets a hang over after 3 glasses of wine is in. Fairly strict dieting is also on the cards, with me dragging poor Gus around the supermarket throwing every second thing he puts in the trolley back out again and replacing it with stuff he wouldn't dream of getting.

Gus, as you always do you will read this soon after I have finished it and posted it, so just know that I love you very much and hope that you stay with me for a long time to come!

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Jan. 20th, 2005 12:37 pm Filling the Void...

Ok, it's been a bit of time since I gave a post, about time for another one. Have been really busy of late.
I haven't been feeling that well the past week or so. I'm a bit worried that my health is lapsing again.
And on that front, I was so upset on Monday. I went back to see the GP, partly to get new medicinal scripts and routine 6 monthly tests that I have to do, but partly to tell him in no uncertain terms that I'm fed up with the level of health care I've been receiving and that I want him to proactively do something to fix things! His response? Basically telling me to put up and shut up! He said that there's nothing else he can do. The joint and back problems that have been ongoing for well over a year now must be the after affects of an infection such as Ross River Fever, that they are untreatable and could last for many years to come! I was so upset. 2 GP's, 5 specialists and 15 months later I still have no idea what is happening inside my body. So I'm a bit confused at what to do next. I have the option of consulting better doctors here in the city, see if new and better doctors will have a new insight into things, or I can try a more alternative approach, which is looking increasingly more appealing given my now distrust of doctors. So a mixture of visits between a naturopath, a dietician and a physiotherapist and a more strictly healthy lifestyle will hopefully be all the ammunition I need to attack this head-on. It may be a result of chronic kidney problems, which if it is, should be manageable if not curable. I'll be damned if I'm going to let illness be the better of me, even if I have to overcome chronic kidney problems, a damaged spinal disc and severe joint inflammation simultaneously!

In other news, as Gus posted, our plans of world domination by firstly moving in together have somewhat hit a blockage. Bloody Centrelink! I am ineligible to receive youth allowance at present, not having earned enought o meet the independence classification rate. I will be able to by about May, but that leaves 3 months that I would have to rely solely on work. It's do-able, but only just. it would be very tight, and allows me no room to cut back on shifts in the event of illness or during assignment/exam times at uni. I am yet to discuss it through with my folks, to see if they would be willing to help out, but I doubt they would. This too requires a lot of thought, as a decision must be reached very soon, since Gus's lease runs out in just over a month. I may decide that I am worth more money than I am currently earning and seek a higher-paying job, or at least a part-time job with a guaranteed number of hours. Decreases flexibility but gives a guaranteed income which casual can not do.

On a more happier note, Gus and I have been enjoying time away from the city. We spent 4 days last week up at his family's holiday house at Avoca Beach on the Central Coast, which was beautiful. The weather was perfect, much cooler than the 40 degrees plus recorded inland. And we are also going camping this weekend, which should be fun. Bunch of queens camping near the beach, obviously there should be a very interesting post to be written when we get back!!!

We found out that a girlfriend of mine from uni is good friends with a gay couple that are really good friends with Gus! What a small world it is! So hello to Mikey and Andrew, just moved in together, and Alex and her boyfriend Steve, currently holidaying in Thailand (the poor country needs the tourists more than ever at the moment!)

Well, off shopping now. Have lay-bys to pay off and a wad of birthday cash to spend! Hehe There really is nothing like good ol' retail therapy!!! XXX

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Jan. 9th, 2005 11:43 am The morning after...

First of all, I would just like to thank everyone who has been reading my posts and offering your thoughts. I do read all your comments and consider them seriously. I am still getting the hang of live journal, so as I get used to it I will reply and comment on your posts etc more often. I promise I'm not being rude!

As the title states, it is now the morning after. Last night was my birthday party, and boy is there a lot of news from it! The bad thing about the night was numbers. Only about a quarter of the people I invited were there. I organised this big flashy party, sent out invites to 110 people, 54 of whom sent an RSVP of yes, but only around 25 people actually showed up. It was the one thing I didn't want to happen. I felt so embarrassed, so hurt by it. But, as corny as it sounds, and like a few people said to me, it's times like that that you really know who your friends are. The small group of people there are just fabulous people, coming from across Sydney, the Southern Highlands, Canberra and even Brisbane. I love them all very dearly.

A few people touched my heart even though they couldn't make it. One girl from work is Sri Lankan, and had to rush back home to help out her family and her country after the tsunami disaster. Another girl I went to school with has actually gone to Thailand to help out the aid effort, I had no idea she was such a humanitarian. God bless you Mel!

That aside, we all had THE BEST NIGHT! It was so much fun. The club was absolutely fantastic. When I paid the deposit, they told me that half would be refunded on the night, the other half would go on extra staff etc. So i put the refundable bit as the bartab. Little did I know that they changed their minds last night, and put my entire deposit as a bartab! We had so many drinks all night, including these gorgeous cocktails and still weren't able to finish it! So they let me buy something from their bottle shop to use up the remaining money, so what else did I get but a $100 bottle of moet & chandon! I was quite impressed with that!

It was good to float around the room and talk to people I haven't seen for ages. There were a few of my high school friends, a girl from primary school, a few uni people. Everyone seemed to get on with everyone else. The biggest surprise of the night was by far the conversation between Gus and my dad that lasted for over an hour!!! Everyone was coming up to me saying "Look at those two!" I didn't think dad had it in him to be as courteous toward Gus as he was. It was amazing! Lots of brownie points for both of them!!!

So after that we came back to Gus's, grabbed another drink then headed off into the city to dance. Poor Gus, unbeknown to me at the time, hurled his guts up several times when we got back, so he was in no mood to go dancing. That and the fact that he had to work this morning. So the rest of us went out, had a fabulous dance til about 3am and then went home feeling quite pooped.

This morning there were definately a few sore heads! I didn't pull up too badly, Gus was absolutely awful! I had to talk him out of calling in sick at work. I had no idea that boy could drink so much! Poor thing. But after last night, I think I have no choice but to move in with him. His love, support and tolerance both with my dad and with my stressing about the party made me realise more than ever how special he is and how much I adore him. He gave me the most beautiful engraved silver bracelet as my birthday present last night before we left for the party. I was in tears. Last night just gave me the realisation that I am where I belong, with the people I belong with, and that my fears of moving in with Gus are totally unfounded. Gus is a very different person to Toby, I have nothing to worry about.

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Jan. 5th, 2005 06:26 pm Random thoughts for the afternoon...

Well it's now Wednesday afternoon. It's still that time of the year where life hasn't quite returned to normal after the silly season. I guess it's a period almost like a hangover, where everyone chills and recovers after a hectic period of festivities and public holidays. I, on the other hand, am getting increasingly busy! Us Capricorns have an extended festive season, since a birthday occurs in the same few weeks as Christmas and New Year. A friend of mine from Brisbane, Elle, is coming down tomorrow morning and staying with us for 5 days, so I have a lot of cleaning up to do around the apartment tonight ahead of her arrival. I'm also still finalising arrangements for my party on Saturday night, which is increasingly more like a chore than a party. I really hope it goes off with a bang and everyone has a blast! Parties that are dull as dishwater are by no means pleasant! I'm still a little dubious about putting a mixture of my straight friends, gay friends, parents and boyfriend in a room together and throwing in alcohol, but mum and dad, especially mum, have been so great and supportive of late. Hopefully it will be another step forward in our little peace process. Mum is fantastic, but dad is still very weary to say the least. But I guess only time will tell. The whole parent-child relationship is such a complex and intriguing one, the way parents "plan" and idealise the lives of their children, and more often than not seem to end up at the very least disappointed when the child takes a different path. Everyone would have it easier if these fantasies weren't created in the first place.

But yeah, tomorrow marks the start of an extremely busy period for me. After the party, Gus and I are thinking about going up to his family's place at Avoca Beach for a few days, then come back on Thursday (my brithday), drop in to my grandparents and then on to home to have dinner with my family. Next Friday I have yet another doctors visit. Among other things, I have to go back to the GP and almost forcefully demand to be given a referral to a well-respected doctor in the hope of finding out an exact diagnosis. It has now been 15 months since I first fell ill, and still all I know is a list of wishy-washy possibilities and things to try to ease the symptoms, not what is causing it. I really hate doctors. The past year has been littered with more than my fair share of visits to various doctors, and each time is such an emotional effort, that ends in little more than tears and a dent in the bank balance. Some answers would be nice.

But the thing playing on my mind most is by far Gus. On NYE, another car was broken into in the "security" carpark downstairs, prompting a panicked response from Gus and his flatmate Sarah. As it stands their lease runs out at the end of February, and both have decided to go their own seperate ways. So Gus needs to find new accommodation. As that time approaches, Gus is increasingly keen on moving in with me. He says that he feels ready, that he wants "the husband, the house and the dog". I am completely unsure. Moving in together should be an act of love and a sign of commitment for a couple.  After my spectacular failure of attempting to live with a boy in Brisbane, combined with the fact that Gus and I have only been together 9 months, I fell completely bewildered. I don't know if I am genuinely not ready, or if I am being my usual indecisive self. Do I stop living in the past and take the plunge? Or do I listen to experience and hold off on such a decision until completely sure of the situation. We practically live together as it is, the only real difference being that my name is not printed on the lease. I just don't know. 

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Jan. 3rd, 2005 05:37 pm first post!

Happy New Year! I can't believe that it's now 2005! The years seem to progressively get faster. It hardly seems that long ago that everyone was scared of the "Y2K Bug" that never eventuated.

But anyway. I guess I wanted to establish a live journal to keep a track of events and happenings. So much has happened in the past year, both good and bad, but as yet remain unrecorded, and I don't want to lose these memories. Gus helped me set the thing up, and selected the name (hence the rhyming with volacious). I quite like that boy, even with his quirky ideas!

2004 was just such a busy year. While not strictly religious, I am very Christian and very spiritual in my thinking, and feel like God himself released his all on me in the year just gone. Not one but 2 serious health conditions were diagnosed that I continue to battle, the most serious of which being diagnosed the day before my 21st birthday. The death of one grandmother (the day after my 21st birthday), and the other literally collapsing in the middle of Easter Sunday lunch 3 months later and needing rescusitation by the ambulance crew on the way to hospital. The physical and psychological aftermath of the end of my 18 month relationship with Toby. Resorting to work in a servo on the midnight to dawn shift. Meeting Gus and establishing our relationship together. Gus fixing me up with a job at his work as a functions waiter, which I really enjoy. Returning to uni and just missing out on a distinction average for the semester, way above my own and everyone else's expectations. I started the year at the lowest point in my relatively sheltered life, and finished the year in a near-perfect situation of stability and happiness.

Many strange, sad and tragic things happened. While I was working on a cruise boat on the harbour, a guest on the upper deck fell overboard, hitting his head on the railing of the lower deck and falling into the water, THEN being run over a speed boat. He was recovered from just in front of the harbour bridge, face down, unconscious in the water and rescusitated by the deckhand. While working at Telstra Stadium for the NRL Grand Final, a woman from my box was injured after a massive brawl broke out. The terrorist bombings of several trains in Madrid, Spain. On my first day back at uni a truck hit my car on the drive to Wollongong. I managed to avoid a direct collision with the truck, instead it just took off the side mirror. And by far the most tragic is the Boxing Day earthquake and tsunami disaster with global repercussions, such as the international death toll, the economic prospects for the affected countries and westerners who lived/worked there, and also the fact that the earthquake was so powerful it made the Earth wobble on its axis. We are yet to find out if our orbit has been in any way affected by this, though very unlikely.

Many sweet, romantic and wonderful things happened too. The most recent of which was NYE. Gus and I, working on Fort Denison, snatching a kiss at midnight while watching the fireworks. But that was just one of many overly sappy things we have done as a couple. Our stroll across the Harbour Bridge hand-in-hand; harbour cruise dinner date; a date to Taronga Zoo; sitting out on the rocks at Middle Head at sunset; the many bunches of flowers that have lined my bedroom at one point or another. There were also some tender moments from my parents as, after my return from Brisbane in December '03, my relationship with them continues to strenghten and the damage repair tenfold. One was mum in early December. After coming back from Gus's late one night, I open my bedroom door to see a small box of chocolates and a little Christmas bear. Such is my mum. But probably the most endearing thing all year was from my often-pompous dad. At Valentine's Day, feeling terribly alone, Dad pulls me aside and says "I know you're upset right now, and I didn't think it cool for me to give you flowers, but I bought you this" and hands me a CD I wanted. So small but so uncharacteristic of him, which made it such a hugely nice thing.

And then there was the just plain bizarre. Running into at least 3 people from school that I hadn't seen for about 4 years out and about in Sydney, another taking one of the same subjects as me at uni. Running into a girl I went to PRIMARY SCHOOL with, one night at stonewall. Finding out that another girl I went to primary school with, who also used to be a family friend some years ago, works at the same company as me. So many faces that I hadn't seen for many years just pop up here and there over the space of a few months.

But despite it all, 2005 still arrived, and I look forward to another year, with all its twists, surprises and happenings. Situations with work, uni etc developing. Relationships with friends and family continuing to strenghten. And, of course, the love that I have found with Gus continuing to grow and deepen. May 2005 bring the peace and love that the world so desperately needs.

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

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